Wicked Wanderings in the Bathtub
WARNING
This Post rated E (for EWWWWWW) for blood and gore and talk of female parts
The post that makes you wonder why you even bother checking in here somedays.
1. Songs titled "Sing the Blues Softly to Me", should probably be played softly. 3-5 mins of a saxomaphone screaming up and down the scales does not denote softness, what-so-ever.
2. No cheese Gromit!
3. For my "to-do-before I (blank)" List, I add this tidbit: Seek out and perform a hysterectomy on every female who can not manage to change their tampon without getting blood on the toilet seat in a public restroom. Bleep'n bleepity bleep'n bleep, at least wipe it off afterwards! Eww!! Just freakin eww!
You are an embarrassment to the sex of our race and should be proud that I even let you play on this planet. You are the worst tampon user I have ever seen in my life. But if you keep watching me, you might learn something. Shit, you've got so many balls of toilet paper down there I'm going to have to start knocking them in just to get them out of my way. Straight down. Easy. God, you are terrible. Okay wench. I hope you are ready to take the agonizing, bitter humiliation of being spayed.
Why do people trash public restrooms? Do they leave shitty diapers on the counter at home? Or their bloody tampons for that matter? And why must they throw toilet paper and tampon wrappers on the floor? The freakin garbage bin is RIGHT THERE, 6 bloody inches from their knee! Do they really need 5 seat covers? Is their ass that big? And for bleepin sake, FLUSH! I do NOT, nor should I have to look at your filth, or deal with it. Fecal matter and blood can be lethal to me! If you left that mess in the toilet; what kinda of germs did you leave on the seat or the stall door? Eww I say Eww!
4. When I'm First Lady, I'm going to hide in public restrooms and throw my bloody tampons at anyone who can't take the extra 2 seconds to put their waste in it's proper receptacle. Wait a sec, no I won't. I'll need that blood for the anti-national holidays...
5. Speaking of all this blood, why do movies portray people in bathtubs with their wrists slashed horizontally? Wouldn't it be easier and quicker if one slashed vertically, away from oneself? Wouldn't you hit more of the vein/artery?
And here ends bathtime with the squirrel. Saxophone bad for the pysche.
posted by iSirkus @ 11:02 PM
Comments: 2
