Girls who want boys who like boys who do voodoo
At the plastic food shopping place this evening some tall dark and handsome guy (in that rugged blue collar kinda way) caught my eye and promptly dropped it in his shopping basket, waved his manly fingers in a figure eight, saying woo wooooo abra wooo woo cad woobra or somesuch and pulled the eye out from behind my right ear and presented it to me still slimey and attached to me eye socket. I blushed and popped it back into my skull producing a sucking noise that was not very sexy or lady like, smiled graciously and went looking for lemonade. I didn't look back, I knew that we would meet a few aisles down.While he was playing parlor tricks with my eye, I noticed that he was wearing a black shirt with some writing on it that I found amusing and which would occupy my thoughts through most of my shopping experience. It said:
I am not the committed type
Sooo this raised a question or two in my head:
1. not the "serious relationship" type?
2. not the "lives in a padded cell half the year" type?
3. not the "like to pay my mortage" type?
I'm guessing by the the amount of time he spent in front of the Hungry Man display he could be all three, but I digress... my big question was:
How the hell do you expect to get laid wearing a shirt like that? I mean come on...yes it's honest, and I happen to know a girl who might be into some nose rings attached action, but that doesn't stop the fact that a man promoting his unwillingness to commit himself to anything will most likely turn off women. Because...the female animal/human(so the anthropological types tell us)looks for a partner that can and will provide and has done so since the dawn of our perceived time. And giving said woman a appreciative look while wearing such a shirt is going to get you no where.. at least if she's worth her salt.
So I just smirked to my self while buying frozen lemonade, knowing that the non-committal guy was checking out my assests. And no - he didn't actually perform any parlor tricks, I just thought you all could use a little entrertainment, even if it is poorly written.
posted by iSirkus @ 9:27 PM
Comments: 1
