Wicked Wanderings: 02/01/2006

An old Indian Grandfather said to his grandson who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice.

"Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued...

"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. He saves all his energy for the right fight.

But the other wolf, ahhh!

He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked...

"Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said...

"The one I feed."

Friday, February 10, 2006

Circus w/o bread

Another Memo that may or may not help anyone to question the reasons we have sent the kids to war.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Wandering Soul

Have you ever seen your soul/spirit?

At one time, I thought I had seen it. It was kind of bluish, with a darker outline. It had an arm, maybe two; it had a back side and a head.

But I didn't see it with the eyes of my physical body. I saw it through the eyes of the bluish shade that knew the same people I did. The shade recognized the house as the one where the body lived with it's family. It recognized the body lying in bed as a something it knew intimately.

I wish this shade would have stopped to ask more questions about the nature of exisistance. Because now only this memory of the experience is the only means by which to question such things. And it's hard to shift my perception in a manner that allows me to completely divest my self of the flesh that types this.

And the question I ask then, is who is in the flesh? How does the flesh define me? How am I defining the flesh?

If I can exisit outside my body as a shade, does my body need to be alive for my idenity to continue? If my heart and brain "give up the ghost", can I still be me?

What is me? A series of experiences associated with a stream of consciousness on a linear timeline? Why does it have to be linear? Or are we stuck in this linear motion as we occupy this particular matter?

Can I ask more questions?

Is it possible to imagine this shade, exisisting with out flesh, traveling through multiple timelines? Will it meet other shades that it knew as flesh? Would it soon forget to that there ever was flesh to know these things by?

What about those others who have claimed to see the light. Were they to caught up in the light business to stop and think about what they were or looked like?

Questions...

I hesitate to say anything concrete about my experience or what theory I am developing, as it all seems terribly mystic at the moment and that's not a good foundation for me at this time. I think that to explore this further would take some dedication to a practice that I have yet been able to master. And I'm to lazy righht now to take on yet another thing.

Blue shades in the night
forgot to take in the starlight.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Oh Vanity! Who is not your slave?

NSFW (foul language and possible nudity, NO NOT ME!)

I'm all for nudity, here, there, where-ever. But I think thatVanity Fair has gone and done something quite sexist (For the record, I don't like using that term). Tell me, why can't the guy be naked too?

The cover is quite explicit in it's sexual enuendo, I see no need to cloth the man. Hell, clothe the women then. And why does he get two chics? Are we as a culture starting to accept polgamy? And why is it a guy with two chics, and not a chic with two guys? I thought Vanity Fair was a woman's magazine. Is lesbianism ok? And sex between guys not? Who decides this?

I realize that I am asking reduntant questions and expect no answers.

So before this squirrel turns rabid, I'll bid you adieu.

*Edited to remove a foul demon, indeed. Or maybe it was a sailor? meh.*

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Blank

The short and long are all twisted together, forming slip knots in my head. The long silently snakes around and under the short, while the short tries to get out.

If the short gets out, how will the long occupy it's self? If the short remains stuck, how long before the slip knots form a gordian knot?

When will not naught knot?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Application unnecessary

In anticipation for a coveted day off this weekend I have been doing a lot of homework ahead of schedule. This is the weekend in which I am to act like a proper college student by injesting mass quanities of beer, and lay around most of day, in bed, with my lover.

I spent over two hours today, doing my WR 115 reading logs for three essays. Last night I did an algebra assignment and read my philosophy. Today on the bus ride home I read more for Philo. All of this in order that I may act spontaneously this weekend.

But here's the kicker.

My WR 115 teacher told class today to read the essays due next week, but to skip the reading logs.

WHAT?

I just spent my entire afternoon doing an assignment on the syllabus and I didn't have to complete it? I could have done my algebra instead? I'm kinda pissed. And I'm laughing at the same time. I can't seem to find that happy medium of applying myself and letting go.

And on the Subject of WR 115, I have another bone to pick. And that is that of me being one of 3 people out of about 15 people that handed in the final draft of an essay. In fact I was one of the few who handed in the first draft on time. It pains me to see these people not participating in the class. I find myself day- dreaming of their failed status, and poking them with sharp things. Some of these people are also the class clowns that talk while the teacher is talking, or while we are taking a laid back quiz. In general they disrupt the class and the discussion.

*whew*

Ok I'll go do some more algebra. I just wanted to get that off my chest. Thanks for listening. Hopefully soon I will take the time to sit down and write up some deeper thoughts. Many of which have sat on the back burner, because we usually discuss them in class the following day.

Wicked Wanderings

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