Wicked Wanderings: Confession #387

An old Indian Grandfather said to his grandson who came to him with anger at a friend who had done him an injustice.

"Let me tell you a story. I too, at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and does not hurt your enemy. It is like taking poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with these feelings many times."

He continued...

"It is as if there are two wolves inside me; One is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offense when no offense was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. He saves all his energy for the right fight.

But the other wolf, ahhh!

He is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper. He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, for his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, for both of them try to dominate my spirit."

The boy looked intently into his Grandfather's eyes and asked...

"Which one wins, Grandfather?"

The Grandfather smiled and quietly said...

"The one I feed."

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Confession #387

I'm an angry person. Rather, I can be an angry person and most often choose or fall into the trap of dealing with situations in which cursing and fist shaking take place. Usually this is accompanied by phrases as "A pox on your Bum" and my fist hitting the table.

But last night an issue re-surfaced that I was not prepared for. I thought everything was ok. But it's not and the means to fix it are under way. But what happened after I heard the "news" is what I need to get down for my own posterity. Instead of grabbing my sword and a medium sized yellow animal, I restrained myself and literally fought with the steel-toed girl in my head shouting curses at the neighbor.

I cleansed, I banished, and really concentrated on that green light between my breasts...it was dirty. It dawned on me in the 2 hours I was lying in bed that I don't banish as much as I used too...if ever. I concentrate only on getting to point B, and forget about point A getting dusty and attracting little mites that tend to eat away at my sanity.

Now, I'm not saying I'm not going to be angry anymore, I'm just gonna try to turn it in to positive and creative energy. I like being angry sometimes. It scares the people away when they know I can smite them. And then I can go back to my creative endeavor and not be bothered with piddly nuances.

Someday I'll live on a mountain top, just far enough away from the other hermits I know of to pop over for drink and smoke. Speaking of smoke...

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Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Confession #387