Ahh Portland Life
My very first
earthquake!Well at least that I have experienced while fully awake. Supposedly there was one a couple of weeks ago, at 6am or so. Even if it was that that woke me up, I don't know for sure. Anything abnormal tends to wake me up.
I should have been a guard dog.
California declares smoke 'toxic'
BAN CARS!
happiness is...
...having your classmates clamor over each other to have you review their essays. Because
"She seems to know what she's talking about"
And the Philo Professor says...
This class is helping me to formulate a theory that I am developing, that the philosophical tradition on religion may not be in touch with today's perceptions of god and religion.
(verbatim)This was met with...
...Nodding heads...
...Stifled giggles...
Which means, we get to start pointing out inconsistencies with arguments!!
Yay! no need to pop our little world bubbles! At least when it comes to religion. :)
the devil made me do it I swear
As part of my afternoon ritual, I head down to a campus pub and get some fried food and beer. Normaly in this hour or so I get an assignment done or at least the better part part of one.
Today however, was an exception. I was tempted to watch ESPN on the big screen and ignore an argument about faith. So tempted was I that I completely forgot about the theosophical topic and instead watched sports.
What sport you may ask, would drive this girl to put down a 3 page article and cheer and cuss at a large flat screen tv?
The
Men's Australian Open Tennis Championships of course! I can't help my self. Ever since Andre Agassi surpassed all of my teenage girl fantasies, I have not been able to NOT watch men's tennis. I cheer, I cuss, my heart races faster, I clasp my hands in a prayer like manner, hoping and dreaming for the guy I think is the coolest, more humble and sportsman like.
And predictably the game was close and the drama high. Last week Baghdatis from greece caught my eye when he was playing the same Argentian he played today. And to be there as he came from behind to win the semi-final was an adrenalin rush I had not felt in along time.
The sad part is that the championship is Sunday and I heed to be at work. This is one game that I don't think I can catch on local radio.
So there you have it. The squirrel has a weak spot for men and tennis balls. Don't try to exploit it, unless you're a professional with tennis balls. Throwing Tennis balls for yellow dogs will not work either, so don't even try.
Philo did what in the who now?
Right then.
This week in philosophy class, we are discussing readings on various views of religion and what the nature of said topic is, what it IS or ISN'T. Great! I've done this for years!!!
But in way more intimate settings, with 4 or 5 people at a time, tops. This orgy of 40 or so people blandly licking at the teat of thinking makes me feel like I am totally missing out on the meat. Maybe that's not as good of metaphor as I would have liked. What I am trying to say is that, good discussion can not happen within the structure of the class, because:
A) The acoustics suck, I can't hear everyone. Nor can I see them all.
B) What the hell am I supposed to be pulling out of this shit I read?
How does the author define religion. Wait I can do that one. damnit...on to C
C) Ok. This one is tough for me, because I don't want to complain, so here it goes. I get lost. The professor seems to be a bit random with his tangents, which y'all know I do all the time. This shouldn't be an issue.
I had to ask today, "what's the question?"
And I think we had already discussed that topic Also, It seems that the right questions are not being asked.
Now I know this a 100 class and we aren't expected to have considered these things before. But damnit, if religion is so freakin relative or irrelative, then lets not discuss it. Instead lets look at how we are supposed to figure out the arguments.
No that won't do it either. I either want a smaller class, or more vocabulary to work with. Writing class is supposed to help with this, so I may have use my work sheets for one class to help decipher the text of Philo. I just don't always follow the prof and I think that he might get more out of me if he were to ask better questions for us to consider or ask me to write shit down and hand it in.
(Oh my! She's demanding structure!) I don't know though and frankly, I don't want to assume that it is my place to know. I AM THE STUDENT. I want to learn. That's why I am borrowing a substantial amount of money.
damnit,that means more work.
Speaking of work...I want to drink coffee and do my homework!! It goes sooooo much faster and I can actually think throughly about the subject, whether it be math, or grammar, or reading about religon. The words just make more sense.
but alas, the lack of sleep last nightaffects how I process the information I take in. Today I had this feeling of my brain being gelled and information not traveling. I know what i need, but I don't have it, nor do I seek to find it.
damn schedule A, telling me what I can and cannot do to my brain. Transmitters and pathways must be re-opened and allow for uninterrupted sleep.Right then, there's homework and emails to address. I just needed to to take a break form 8 hours of school today.
Coffee
Last night after ONE double espresso, I found myself lying in bed, unable to sleep. I tried all my usual tricks and still my mind would not clear. And as the hour ticked by, I started to stress that I was not getting enough sleep. And then I dozed and woke up, and dozed again, and woke up, and so on for 3 or 4 hours.
So what did I do this morning? I stopped for coffee. I fear that a cycle has begun and I really want to stem the tide of playing balancing games with my sleep, thinking abilities and immune system.
The sorry part was that the caffine induced thinking process gave out halfway through Philo class. See the next post about that.
Well damnit. I need to figure out how to force my brain into operating more efficently and precisly, with out the aid of coffee. I want sleep more than coffee, I think...But in all actuality I don't know how to reconcile this dilema. Well ok an idea or two, but that's gonna be in the next post too.
Maybe I just need to rebuild my tolerance levels.
Maybe...when I get a day of rest each week next month, this will all worl it's self out.
maybe.
just maybe.
the muse stirs
Finally, a decent cup of espresso...
I have never been the type of person who can operate well on low levels of sleep. I get ornry, less horny and can be a down right pain to be around. But I am finding that sleep gets in the way of too many things, and as of late has not provided too many surreal dreams from which I can pull inspiration out of.
But, my body revolted against me not taking care of myself last weekend and literally let some giant bug into the house and let it have a party for all it's friends and the feckers trashed my lungs, my brain, teeth, nose, throat and cheek bones. A week or more after this and I still can't fully appreciate my cigarettes and have been holding steady at 2 a day, because I'm a smoker damnit!
I've only had 4 cups of coffee in the past week, and I am having to literally force myself to think about anything outside of school work and what I need from the grocery store. I hate going food shopping. Especially since I go 2 to three places, depending on need. Organic stuffs from TJ'S or the veggie stand. Anything brightly colored with a ton of sodium, Safeway™.
And of course I'm thinking to hard and misreading everything, making my homework twice as hard as it should be and taking me twice as long to do. I gotta remember to not try so hard. But hey, at least the polynominals are coming along better.
But, me thinks the lack of coffee, has a started to affect my sleeping. Today I woke up. Alarm went off. I was awake. Ready to start my day. I only hit the snooze button once. Unfortunetly, I'm not as quick or creative in Intro to Philosophy...which makes for a along 2 hours. There aughta be a place between Algebra and Philo to grab an espresso, but no. To go searching for that would make me late to class. and ya'll know I'm on time, if not early. Sometimes way early...
Having mused a little on the subject of health and sleep, I depart to find a warm nest and get a good nights sleep before my quiz's tomorrow. before it becomes less than 7 hours of sleep.
Why do I keep doing this to myself?
Once a year I do the one of the most evil things, I could ever do to my body.
I go to the golden archs and buy me some plastic food.
I should no better, yes? I should know that to try and digest that crap will affect me for 24hrs? Maybe longer? That I will feel like utter crap and not feel like I've fed myself at all?
Yesterday, though...I gave in. I craved a breakfast sandwich and the promise of protein overload. It smelled so good. But alas, I was stuck with a floppy, rubbery pink and yellow mass on what should have been an english muffin.
Did it taste like ham?
NoDid it taste like egg?
MaybeDid it taste like cheese?
American cheese is supposed to taste like something?So how can I describe the flavor? I don't know if I can. It seems that there was a bit of saltiness, but on the whole, I must say I chewed something with hardly any flavor at all.
How do these people continue to make money?
At least the hasbrowns tasted alright... and the orange juice was indeed juice and not Orange Drink.
Note to self: It's not worth it. Just Don't do it.
Weird
Jake apparently had a dream as weird (or not) as mine was this morning. I can't remember any real specifics except that I was given a clear Tom Collins glass by a very eccentric fellow. It was filled with blood, and that it was my intention to drink it. I can't remember why, because Jake woke me up as the glass reached my lips. He tapped me and said "hey". I rolled over and asked him "what's up?" But I woke him up, he didn't remember tapping me and saying "hey."
And now I go soak myself and find some hot tea, it seems someone shoved a tennis ball down into my lungs over night.
Did I mention how posterific the seating is at PSU? ya...I hurt.
Dazed, but not confused...
And I still need to do my algebra homework (polynominals oh my!). Maybe the coffee will help that.
But while I'm waiting for my coffee, I'll share a couple of things with you.
Numero Uno.
My brain stopped functioning at 11:30 am, just when the instructor started getting into the stuff I NEED to review. I didn't maintain anything from the last 20 mins of class today. And therefore have my work cut out for me. And sadly there was no tutor available this afternoon. I did find it very funny, though, that when the the instructor wrote out the polynominal on the board, my brain clicked and whirled. It then dawned on me that this was a point I had gotten frustrated with so many years ago. And I now know why! Apparently there are multiple ways to factor these equations out. There isn't just ONE way! Which was what my problem was in HS, I did it in manner comfortable to me and not the way the instructor wanted it done. Yay! Maybe I will get through this! (if the assignments don't kill me)
Number Two
Heading to a new class (Philosophy) at 12pm helped the brain immensely. I even got to be one of the "smart" kids in class today. Unfortunately, there's like 50 people in class, and 1/3 of them I already want to boot in the head. And I noticed a few strong personality types, based on their comments. Some were hoity-toity, others defensive, and others that were offensive. Then there were a few meek ones that offered what I considered "quaint" opinions. Make you want to pat them on the head and send them off to do their social work, opinions.
Numéro Trois et une Moitié
The bathrooms stink and are FILTHY! It's just disconcerting. Also, I need to remember to check fluid levels in the lighter before going to bed. It sucks to go and have your first cigarettete of the day and not be able to light it. At least this way, I had an excuse to go to the bar and have a beer before writing class :)
Time to play with numbers and read Plato.
iTunes- Hayden, Rachmaniov, Mozart...Anything classical to get my brain working!
Eve of Edjumakation
And I'm terribly excited, as I round up a note book and pens, check the financial aid status, the bus schedule and what food I can stuff into my backpack and refrain from going to the store for prepackaged salt and sugar injections.
I'm looking forward to being somewhere that isn't work, but still somewhat productive. That is of course assuming that I will be able to process and regurgitate appropriate materials. Of the 5 different lichens I was told the names of the other day, I can't remember a damn one. (this is why the squirrel writes stuff down, lest she forget!)
Time to go find something to eat.
iTunes- Beatles "A Day in the Life"
new link
Ok, Not that new. But to save ya'll some time, or if you have need to contact me personally and can't scream loud enough for me to hear you, please click on the link to your right, enititled,
"for those who aren't pyschic."Be warned that I don't check that address everyday, as I do not care to waste my time reading junky mail from sites that I rarely visit. So bear with me if it takes a day or two for a response. I will get back to you eventually.
iTunes "Oh Injury" Rasputina
Mac and Firefox
Anyone else seem to have a problem with Firefox "blocking" Flash pop-ups that pop-up anyway? Then these little windows proceed to tie up Firefox for several minutes?
Any clues on what to do about it?
Older Work force?
It seems to me that the number of people over 40 and even 50 are having a harder time getting their foot in the door at a new employer. For instance, I believe my father-in-law has still not been hired on full-time at either of the two full-time "Temp" jobs he is working.
I know that my father, if he were to try and find a job, would have very little luck. As he very limited computer skills, and can't do much labor, because of a disabling accident back in 1984.
When my Mother-in-Law looks for other jobs, she is met with resistance. And I happen to know that she is fairly skilled and very professional in her work.
Heaven forbid if my mother had to go look for another job. She could possibly get another office job, but only if she sacrifices her wages.
It doesn't make sense. If it's true that the youngest baby boomers are not able to find jobs...we are so screwed in the next 10 years. Maybe life extension isn't a good idea, if we can't figure out a way to allow our parents to feed and house themselves.
What the heck are we gonna do with all of them? I can't house 4 parents and a step-parent!!
Ya, I'm Gen X...
Where you come from is gone, where you're going to weren't never there, and where your at, ain't no good unless you can get away from it. Jesus Built My Hot Rod-Ministry
No future for you, no future for me.
No future, no future for you. God Save the Queen-Sex Pistols
Fuck Nirvana and "Teen Spirit", That's for the posers that laughed at me before flannel became "cool".
More on Antimatter
Air Force pursuing antimatter weapons / Program was touted publicly, then came official gag orderCool...and not so cool. Yay human race!
Why in the
hell do we need this? Even if they are touting it to be a long way off? I keep getting these visions in my head of gruff military elite, their general caps shading there eyes...deep hollow
voices(NSFW) mumbling about protecting the moral
sheep and elite power something something something.
Krimey, why can't we feed and house
people? I really should stop paying my taxes, if all the goverenment is going to do is act like a bunch of kids with the biggest stick.
I just don't get it. I have deep dark spots...but none so deep as to play with a substance that can blow up the entire
planet. A freakin pea's worth of antimatter could
blow up most of Portland! How twisted is someone to want to do that? It doesn't seem natural!
Brain Splody
Antimatter bombsAnd the rest of the world too!
'Intelligent Design'
After reading this blurb:
Board Rescinds 'Intelligent Design' Policy - Yahoo! News. I got to thinking.
So what if Darwinism is flawed. All of history is flawed. There's no getting around it. We weren't there, and must rely on what someone else said
. Oh, and they're probably white and have a superiority alpha male complex.And yes I did just write that. Most of the history I have been taught has been by white males with alpha male complexes, and they were the football or basketball coaches for my schools. And they sure as hell didn't like to be questioned Soo ;P
Anyway, what I wanted to get at here, was the fact that we don't seem to teach kids to be problem solvers, nor do we encourage interpretation of data outside of whether or not it helps us consume. If we taught kids critical thinking skills, maybe they can discover on their own that all systems are inherently false. Or at least form solid opinions as to how the world works and doesn't work.
Better yet! What if we don't teach them anything, let them figure it all out on their own. Return our kids to the wild, so to speak. There are of course survival skills that we could teach. But not all of this "knowledge" crap that defines reality. If we keep filling their heads up with what we think the universe is, they'll keep dragging this reality along. Let them come up with their own I say! Encourage them to talk to that imaginary friend, or 3, or 10. What creativity was chopped off when an adult told me to stop talking to that non existent hatter I was having tea with?!? Why can't animals talk?!?!
I think that we could also teach 'Intelligent Design'. Personal Design. We make our own maps, can't we tap into that at the youngest ages when imprinting happens most frequently? If I can believe the pooka I'm having tea with is real (he was you know) and carry that into adult hood, will we be able to touch myth that has become real?
How much of our reality is shaped by someone else's fact? How many pookas are waiting to be realized?
Tweakin
5 hours later...
Wicked Wanderings looks at lot closer to what the squirrel was talking about. iSirkus needs to step away from the computer now.
Happy dance!
Wave of Mutilation
I just wanted
Great Shape Barbie™ to have an Olivia Newton John
haircut. I wasn't torturing her! That long hair was getting stuck in the equipment!
And the red head needed to have a mohawk to go with her sharpie eyeliner!
Torture indeed!
Gah!
The
BBC should be releasing this for the US market! Those bastards!! I will pay good money!
And now you know my dirty little secret...
The Afternoon After 2005
Coffee does not seem to be enough to kick my brain in and recall all of the thoughts I wanted to post, while fairly drunk at 3 am this morning. Which in and of it's self should tell you that they were wonderful ramblings. But until that happens...more brain alteration is needed.
